A second chance at life: The three month transformation of Rita Ballou

On Sunday, April 10th, my boyfriend Jeff & I set out to look for a puppy.  We had discussed getting a puppy for quite some time, but we had yet to visit any shelters.  We knew we wanted a rescue dog (with so many dogs already out there that need homes, how can anyone buy from a breeder?) We briefly stopped by the Oregon Humane Society, but were underwhelmed with the selection of pets available and overwhelmed by the crowds, so we drove across town to the Oregon Dog Rescue.

We waited by the door for the volunteer to re-open the center, and were quickly ushered in with several other people. We told them that we were there to adopt a puppy.  The lady quickly scanned her list, and told us that they currently didn't have any puppies IN house, but if we came back in a couple of weeks they would have several puppies available.  In the meantime, she said, we were welcome to browse the photos of the pets listed on their wall to see if we wanted to meet any of them.

Our eyes scrolled over the 50+ photos of pets waiting to be adopted, and we noticed a cute little black dog on the roster named Jewel.  She was only 5 months old (which was certainly puppy enough for us).  We decided to give it a shot and asked to view her.  They put us in a meeting room area and asked us to wait while they retrieved her.

When they brought her in, it certainly wasn't love at first sight.  She was anxious, running and pawing all over the place.  She was hardly interest in us at all.  She was obsessed with any other dog or cat that passed by our room and would bark incessantly.  She refused to play with us.  However, she was sweet.  There was something there.  And she was as cute as a puppy could be.  After a few minutes of letting her wander around, we tried engaging with her more.  It was around that time that I decided to go for it - I swooped her up and cradled her in my arms, like a baby.  Most dogs HATE that.  But she just laid there - passively - letting me hold her, not moving a muscle.  She seemed so content. And in that moment, I felt like there was something more to this dog and that we needed to get to know her more.

The Oregon Dog Rescue had only had her for two days, but they informed us that she was leash aggressive.  Apparently, the day before they had brought her to PetSmart to meet people and potentially be adopted, but her leash aggression had been turning people away.  I instantly thought that this was a result of her environment and history.  Before coming to Oregon, she was found as a stray in Lancaster County, in Los Angeles, at 4 months of age.  She spent one month at a high kill shelter in California, and was then transferred up to Portland by a non-profit that rescues dogs from California (apparently 87% of shelter dogs are EUTHANIZED in California, compared to the 92% that are adopted in Oregon...a staggering statistic I discovered during our visit). It's unrealistic to expect that she didn't already experience some major trauma in her life...

So, seeing some bright moments during our visit, and wanting to see her out of the shelter environment, we asked if we could take her on a quick walk outside.  I turned in my car keys in exchange for a leash, and we exited the building.  We passed other dogs on our walk - other dogs that were going CRAZY and pulling on their leashes, but our pup remained calm and kept walking.  We walked by a field with some geese, and she just sat down and calmly watched them interact.  She was the most mellow puppy I had ever been around - and Jeff too.

We spent a lot of time with her outside.  Time holding her.  Time walking her. Time trying to get her to do tricks.  And then, the debate came.  Should we get her?  Would she be a good dog?  She was the FIRST dog we'd met - AT ALL. Was it a good idea to adopt the first dog you meet?  Were we REALLY ready for a dog after all?!

When it came down to it, the question that sealed the deal was this: If we walked away, and then decided we wanted to return to adopt her, and she was already adopted...would we be sad?  And we both answered with a resounding YES.  And, that was it.  We took the plunge, signed the papers, made a brief stop at PetSmart and were on our way home with a new family member....who we re-named, Rita.

We are now three months post-adoption and we both feel like Rita is one of the best things that has ever happened to us.  When we first adopted her, she was not leash aggressive, but rather terrified of most dogs.  When a dog would approach, she would cower, lower her head and put her tail between her legs. She now, most of the time, walks confidently and approaches and plays with other dogs.  Rita can now swim, sit, lay, shake, high five, give kisses and roll over. She loves hiking. She has a best friend next door named Wilson (a five year old Australian Shepard) that she plays with daily. She used to be afraid to leave the house - dreading where her next destination would be and if we were going to return her to another shelter.  She now happily jumps into the back of our cars, eager for her next adventure.  And the biggest change of all?  Her affection.  A once shy, cautious, uncertain dog who had been hurt and abandoned realized after about a month of care that we weren't going anywhere...and she opened her heart to us fully.  She is the most cuddly, playful, endearing dog that either of us have ever owned...and we can't imagine our lives without her.

Why am I telling you this story?  Because Rita really taught me several lessons in the past three months that I feel are important to share.  She taught me to be patient...that growth takes time.  She taught me to be observant of my surroundings, and who I surround myself with.  But most of all, she taught me to forgive and that anyone can learn to love again.  Her broken soul took time to trust again, but once she did, it was nothing but gold.  We are so lucky that you found us, Rita Ballou....

If you live in Portland and are interested in adopting a dog, please check out the Oregon Dog Rescue's website: www.oregondogrescue.org

And now, a few pics of our sweet girl <3

Jeff with Rita on the day we adopted her

Her first week at our house, getting used to the backyard

Happy at the dog park

Rita's first trip to the beach

Bend & stretch!

Sunday rambles

Rita & her buddy Wilson, taking a break from playing on our front porch

Learning to swim & fetch! On the Deschutes

Soaking up the sun in Eastern Oregon

4th of July fun!

Family cuddles in our tent (aaaannndddd...this might have been how we slept too....for 5 nights....)

Rita sleeping on me, her mom

Rita & her Dad, her first excursion on the boat

Happy New You!

Happy New Year Family & Friends!  2016 is here...and its going to be here for a while...so you better get used to it :)  Hopefully you're feeling as optimistic about all that the New Year could possibly offer as I am.

So...what is it about a new year that gets everybody so excited?  It's certainly not the painful task of needing to remember to change the date on every check or paper you write, and I'm convinced it doesn't circulate around the looming, approaching tax season.  So what is it? From what I can tell, the appeal of a new year to most people is the idea of a fresh start.  The chance to put the past behind you and become a NEW you. Maybe a better version of you?  Maybe become the YOU you've always wanted to be....

I make resolutions every year, just like a lot of us do.  Usually not many.  Like, every year for as many years as I can remember, I've vowed to floss more (I'm really bad at it and don't do it as often as I should). I usually start out strong during the first part of the year, doing it every day (sometimes even twice a day), and then the flossing starts to dwindle as the months roll on. And then there's the traditional "eat healthier/exercise more" goal that I think most people on the resolution bandwagon adhere to.  That's certainly on the list this year again too, but again, past years have shown that as the year progresses, my goals and resolutions slowly fade out of sight. And that's discouraging and disappointing. And, after asking around, I've learned that I'm not the only one that this happens to.  So, that made me think: WHY do we even make resolutions and WHY do we continue to do it year after year if we know that we're just going to fail and give up after a while?

I was pondering this question the other night in bed while reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin, and I came across a passage that really stuck with me that she quoted from the book "Happiness" by William Butler Yeats: "is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing". And Rubin concluded that "contemporary researchers make the same argument: that it isn't goal attainment, but the process of striving after goals - that is, growth - that brings happiness".

And that really struck a chord with me. I absolutely believe that GROWTH is an essential key to greater happiness.  It made me think back on moments in my life when I was happiest, and all of them have contained substantial growth. For example, many of my happiest moments have been while I have been traveling, which is certainly a time when you go through lots of growth and change.  You are learning SO much when you are traveling: possibly another language, how to live in a new environment, co-exist in a new culture, how to cook and eat new foods you've never seen before, possibly co-exist in tight quarters with other travelers and you are learning many new things about who you are as a person, too.  I've also thought back on my career and the various jobs I've had, and I've certainly been happiest in the ones where I've been challenged the most, and have had the most opportunity to advance myself both personally and professionally.

So after having that revelation, I decided that New Years resolutions aren't such a bad thing after all, and have made a few 2016 New Years resolutions for myself.  Not with the intention of giving up...I KNOW that that is never the intention when setting a goal, but also knowing that I don't have to necessarily finish or reach any finish line with my goals. My overall goal is to GROW.  If I don't floss every day for the rest of this year...so what?  At least I will be flossing MORE than I was last year, and that's a great start.  So, without further adieu, here are my growth & happiness goals for 2016:

-Exercise more: I want to immerse myself in Yoga, which gives me balance, introspection and inner peace, and pushes me to become more flexible, stronger, and all around more grounded and fit.
-Drink less booze: I don't want to drink out of boredom or "just because", but drink only on certain occasions or when I want to celebrate.  I'll use my downtime now instead to work towards new career goals or to work on current or new crafts or music (specifically the piano and ukulele)
-Drink more water:  I never drink enough. Always a challenge :)
-Get outside more: I am happier and more inspired when I spend more time outside in nature, away from my digital devices.  Take even more time this year to unplug.
-Read more: Always a struggle for me.  Go to bed an hour early a couple times a week, and take the time to read.
-Volunteer more/help others: I re-joined Rotary in October 2015, and am now a member of the East Portland Rotary club.  My goal through Rotary is to become more involved and connected to my community and volunteer more of my time to people who need it.
-Kindness & compassion first: Try to understand where other people are coming from and THEIR story before you make assumptions, come to conclusions and react to them.
-Listen better: I hate to admit it, but sometime with all of the ideas and "to dos" rushing through my head throughout the day, I forget to really focus in and pay attention to what people are saying.  Not all the time, but sometimes.  Make an effort to close off my own thoughts and focus attention on others while they're talking and sharing their story. It's an important one.
-Last but not least, start each day with an open heart: Put the day before behind you, and start fresh.

Doesn't sound too hard, right?....wish me luck!  And whether you have a blog or a piece of paper, I encourage YOU to write down a few GROWTH goals for yourself. They don't have to be New Years goals....but rather life goals. What are some things you want for yourself? What makes YOU happiest, and what would you like to do more of this year?

Happy Birthday, Mom

Today is Thanksgiving. A day to reflect on what we're grateful for and what truly means the most to us in this life.  A day to put aside differences, take a good look at our lives and say "damn, I'm blessed". And every few years, Thanksgiving happens to coincide with my mom's birthday on November 26th.  She used to hate it when that happened.  I remember hearing her in the kitchen like it was yesterday: "Today's my birthday and I'm stuck in the kitchen ALL day making food, cleaning...ugh!".  But, deep down, I secretly knew that she didn't mind it one bit.  My mom loved us - her family - so very much, and loved doing things for other people.  She LIVED for helping others.  So to spend her birthday surrounded by the people she loved, making food with and for the people who meant the most to her?  Well, I think she wouldn't have wanted to spend her birthday any other way...

And that's why the holidays are so hard for me now. Ever since her passing 9 years ago, they've never felt quite the same.  My mom WAS the holidays.  Her cheery disposition, her warm hugs and smiles, the way she decorated the tree and filled the house with love.  Until she was gone, I never realized or appreciated the fact that she truly was the energy and the sparkle behind the magic of the holidays.

So over the years, the celebrations have evolved.  The first few years after she died, I think my dad and I just had Thanksgiving on our own.  That was hard.  During those times it really sunk in that she was gone.  Then we spent a few years going up to Seattle and spending Thanksgiving with my mom's side of the family, like we had done many years in the past when she was around.  But the commute was long and there was also a feeling of absence - someone missing -from those Thanksgivings, too.

In recent years, Thanksgivings have greatly varied.  If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll remember my Thanksgiving in Tanzania, 3 years ago.  That year I had to learn to create a new network of family for the holiday. That gave me a good reminder of what I had to be thankful for back home.  And for the past couple of years, my dad and I have spent Thanksgiving up in Portland with our neighbors from home (Newport) that I grew up with.  We've started creating NEW traditions and embracing our extended network of family: our friends, our neighbors, our loved ones.

This year, we're heading back to the coast, to Lincoln City, to spend Thanksgiving with my boyfriend Jeff's family.  Lincoln City is just a short drive up the road from where my dad still lives and I grew up, and it will be my first time spending Thanksgiving on the coast in years.  It will be a small gathering: my dad, his mom & step-dad, and the two of us.  Intimate and peaceful.  Familiar, but new.  This will be the first time our families will have gathered together for the holidays.  And for Christmas, Jeff & I will host everyone in our home up in Portland.  We are now starting new holiday traditions in our own home, and that is refreshing and exciting for me.  After 9 years, I am finally starting to feel like the holidays are something to look forward to again....

 And while we are moving forward and creating new Thanksgiving traditions with family and friends, new and old, my mom is with me today maybe more than any other day of the year.  Her spirit of giving, her thoughtful ways and her warmth and love are so fondly remembered and sorely missed.  And I couldn't be more grateful for having had such a caring, loving mother.

So squeeze your loved ones extra tight today and keep gratitude in your heart for their presence at your Thanksgiving feast...even if they annoy the heck outta ya ;)

She would have been 65 today.  Happy Birthday Mom.  I love you and miss you every day.

Costa Rica - From Sea to Shining Sea...(and Volcano...)

 Many things haven't changed in my life since my last blog post...and one big thing has.

I am still living in Portland, Oregon, loving the outdoors and the quirky ways of the city.  Still teaching dance at Studio One Dance Academy (getting ready for our big show in June!) and working for Chopstick Art.  I still LOVE to travel.  And, I still love writing on this blog (albeit, it's been awhile....)

The one big thing that has changed in my life is that I fell in love.  After years of being single and countless horrible dating experiences, I basically had decided that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life.  And, that I hated all men.

Right about at that time is when Jeff came into my life.  And despite my bitterness and closed off-ness, he slowly and gracefully proved to me that I could trust him and that he wouldn't hurt me.  And over time, my huge walls of hurt, pain, and fear slowly tumbled down, and I am now happier than I have been in a very long time.  He is an incredible partner. And, I think that the best part of the whole thing is that while I love him completely, through all of my years of being alone, I now know that I don't NEED anyone.  I'm fine on my own, and know I can stand on my own two feet. And that feels good.  But, he sure does add insurmountable amount of fun and joy to my life.  Isn't love an amazing thing?!

So, after being together for a while, naturally my travel bug came out.  One of the things that makes our relationship really great is that we both love to travel, and both value taking time off work to spend time with each other and disconnect.  So, after many months of debate, we decided to take a trip and tackle Costa Rica.  Originally we were looking into traveling to Bali or Thailand, but in December, Jeff's band "The Lonesome Billies" (look them up - they're rad!) was offered the chance to play at SXSW in Austin, Texas (a huge music festival, if you haven't heard of it).  Once that was booked and we both decided we were going (duh - I'm not going to wait around at home!), we decided that it was easier for us to head South from Texas, to somewhere in Central America.  I'd always had Costa Rica on my bucket list, and Jeff had a good friend traveling around Costa Rica with some great insights, so it didn't take us too long to decide that that would be our destination.

We did, however, revise our travel itinerary about 5 times.  Turns out, Costa Rica had been on a lot of other people's bucket lists too.  I came to learn that about half of my friends had been to Costa Rica. And the more we talked with folks the more confused we became.  Too many options!  Where do we start?!  Costa Rica has an abundance of fun, wildlife, and adventure, so it was really difficult to decide what to see with only 2 weeks to travel. Eventually, we looked inside to who we are and what we wanted out of our vacation, and we decided to travel to the places with the least amount of tourists as possible, and that we wanted to see 3 really distinct areas of the country: the Pacific Coast (Nicoya Penninsula, including Santa Teresa & Montezuma), Arenal Volcano & Hot Springs (in the middle of the country), and the Caribbean Coast (Puerto Viejo & Manzanillo area). And on March 22nd, our flight from Texas to San Jose, Costa Rica landed, and our adventure was under way...

These three areas of the country had some similarities, but many differences.  I'll do my best to illustrate them with words & photos here:

The Pacific Side - Santa Teresa & Montezuma:
When we first arrived here, we were floored by the beauty of the landscape, and the people.  This area of Costa Rica is a major surf mecca, and all the people on the beach were ripped! (Um...we didn't get the memo about the body building competition???  Whoopsies!) The people on the beach, however, were predominantly imports.  Meaning that although many of them lived there, most were not originally from Costa Rica, but rather from Europe or some other first world country.  And I can see why they moved.....

White sand beaches (with almost no one on them).  Impeccable waves.  Deliciously fresh seafood and fruits. Pelicans riding the surf. Hammocks for days. Howler monkeys jumping from tree to tree. Breath taking sunsets. Large iguanas crossing the street in front of you.Waterfalls. Secret snorkeling tide pools. Fresh coconuts to sip on...

Sunset, Playa Santa Teresa

...5 minutes into our walk on the beach the first day, we were brainstorming ways we could move there, too.....

Don Jon's - Santa Teresa - The first place we stayed at. We were on the second floor - that balcony with the towels! We spent a lot of time on the top floor, too.  Swinging in hammocks and watching the howler monkeys...

Surf's up - Jeff in Santa Teresa, walking to the beach to catch some waves

Beach - Santa Teresa

Dinner at Katana, next to the jungle canopy.  Some of the best food we'd ever had. And, despite 10 layers of sunscreen, some of the best sunburns, too. Muy langosta!

Snorkeling in our own private tide pool/hot tub - Montezuma

Snorkel Bob, at the ready!  This tide pool was so magical.  One of our favorite spots on the trip....

Hang time in our hotel yard - Montezuma

Montezuma Water Fall

Our hotel yard in Montezuma, again.  Happy people :)

Arenal Volcano & Hot Springs:
Our next stop was in the middle of the country. We only spent two nights here, and were very happy we did.  While I'd still recommend putting this on your travel itinerary to Costa Rica, I wouldn't make it a point to go back here again.  Too touristy.  This was our worst hotel stay too during our trip (Hotel Kokoro). Another traveler even let us know that she had had money stolen out of her room while staying there.  Bummer.  It's simply a tourist trap, with locals that are probably annoyed at the overwhelming number of travelers coming through each day.

That being said, its gorgeous, and we did a really good job of avoiding anything that was majorly touristy.  We spent one full day here, and spent the majority of our day going on this back breaking hike to Cerro Chato.  It was literally one of the hardest hikes I've ever done in my life. 2 1/2 hours straight up hill.  Jeff called it "relentless", and that it was.  Almost no breaks where the ground evened out...just straight uphill the whole way.  We were so proud when we reached the top, and we were so tired that we almost didn't hike down to the lake to take a swim....but we did.  The GREENEST lake I've ever seen.  Truly breathtaking, and worth the climb.  And we only passed 2 couples on the hike up, because so few people are willing to undertake this monster...

Volcan Arenal

A bridge on our way to the Cerro Chato hike

The top of Cerro Chato, and its volcanic lake...

Jeff has made a discovery in the swimming hole! (not really....)

Reflecting...

A Coatis on the trail...

All uphill baby! Work those glutes and roots!

The reward.  Drinks at the Observatory after.  Cheers!

 And in the evening, we visited the hot springs.  Before we left on our trip, we'd had many people recommend that we visit Tabacon or Baldi hot springs, but these were resorts, and cost as much as $100/day.  We knew that there had to be a local hot springs option somewhere.  So at dinner that night in the town of La Fortuna, Jeff asked around the restaurant for tips.  And, low and behold, RIGHT next to Tabacon hot springs resort was an amazing little hot spring spot.  I wish I had pictures for you, but we didn't bring our cameras that night.  Locals bring candles to light the way and place them all along the rocks and crevasses that create the hot springs.  Fireflies swarm around.  It was a really special way to end an extremely exhausting, but fulfilling day.

The Carribean Side - Puerto Viejo & Manzanillo:
This was by FAR our favorite part of the trip.  We spent the most time here (half our trip), and when it was time to go home, we both agreed that if we could spend more time in just one place in Costa Rica, it would be in Manzanillo.  The Carribean side was way more laid back than any other part of the country we saw, and people seemed to be more open, relaxed and welcoming there.  We felt right at home.  Add that to the incredible wildlife we saw (sloths, toucans & monkeys living in the tree in our yard, toads, hermit crabs, snakes, bullet ants, bats, blue crabs, butterflies and fireflies frequenting the trail in front of our house...a tarantula IN our house...yikes!)  and the breathtaking, vacant beaches, and you have paradise found (which actually happened to be the name of the house we stayed in!)

We spent 2 nights in Puerto Viejo, a little party town, and then 4 nights just south of Manzanillo, almost to the Panama border.  While Puerto Viejo was fun, Manzanillo we loved the most. In Manzanillo, we stayed in a home in a protected wildlife refuge, so we were in the midst of real jungle living, and the ocean was just a stone's throw away.  Fresh fish or lobster were on the menu daily, along with coconut rice, fresh bananas and mangoes.  We spent our days jungle trekking, snorkeling, attending the local carnival (that was there in honor of holy week, the week before Easter.  They have a  huge week long festival where everyone flocks from San Jose to the Carribean coast to party), or simply kicking it on the beach.  Locals were vacationing on the beach with us as well, and spent time hanging out and dropping by our home.  And although we did and saw SO much, we feel that there is so much more to be discovered here.

A beautiful flower in Puerto Viejo at Azania Bungalows - where we stayed.

Hammock life.  Morning coffee

A fruit that looked like an orange on the outside, and like maggots on the inside.  We tasted it, and while it didn't have a horrible flavor, couldn't get over the texture and decided to pass.  We tried many exotic fruits and vegetables I'd never seen before in my life (come to find out later, this is a passion fruit!).  The diversity of foods and animals in Costa Rica is outstanding.

Kickin' it at a local restaurant - "Johnnys" on the beach in Puerto Viejo.  The next photo (below) is the view from our table shown here...

Local kids enjoying Holy week - one week off school

Poser!  Just kidding...I did surf, but I'm not very good at it...

Manzanillo - Our favorite beach on our entire trip and where we spent most of our time.

Aquilles, our tour guide, found a rubber tree.  About a half an hour after he rubbed this sap in his hand, the rubber was hard. Really cool.

Aquilles took us to a cave next to the ocean where we saw bats and waves crashing up over the edge

Hermit crab beach.  There were hundreds of these guys all around

Spiny lobster dinner, cooked at our house for us by Mamie :) We cooked all of our meals while we were at this house in Manzanillo except for this one, so this was a real special treat.

A look-out point near our home in Manzanillo. Breathtaking.

Jeff on the beach - Manzanillo

My favorite little neighbor girl during our trip.  She'd bring me flowers and draw me pictures and I'd do my best to read to her in Spanish.  So cute!!

The house we rented in Manzanillo..."Paradise Found"

We played for a good 30 minutes at least on this palm tree.  Favorite palm tree on our favorite beach.

Inside our home.  Getting ready for the beach.

Breakfast :)

Eyelash Viper

Lobster dinner from Mamie

So long story short, Costa Rica was amazing, as you can probably tell.  One of the easiest travel experiences I've ever had.  Most people spoke English (although we tried to use what little Spanish we spoke as much as we could), dollars were taken as easily as colones, roads were passable (for the most part), and people were very, very helpful and friendly.  We felt very safe and welcome during most of our trip.  And, possibly the best part...we didn't get sick once!

I disconnected for 2 weeks.  No phone, no internet. That, in addition to experiencing the beauty of Costa Rica really put into perspective what is important in life.  It's not the money.  It's not the job.  It's not how many people "like" your status.  It's not your appearance or what others think of you.  It's your heart.  It's the connections you make.  It's the people you help.  It's the lives you affect.  Costa Rica reminded me to be thankful for what I have and how oh so good my life is.  I feel more grounded and blessed than I have for a while, and I feel more like myself.  That is why I continue to travel, and always will.

Thank you for sharing my journey with me!