La Historia de Hermosa

Oh life.  It's really funny how sometimes life puts you in the right place at the right time for a specific reason. That's how we felt on our most recent trip to Mexico anyways.  This is Hermosa's story, as you probably figured out from the title if you speak a little Spanish. And this is the story of a puppy who got a second chance.

Jeff (my husband) and I decided back in the Fall that we wanted to spend our first anniversary somewhere tropical and warm, per the usual.  Jeff had always wanted to go to Yelapa and Sayulita on the West coast of Mexico and once I found out that it was a 4 hour direct flight on Alaska from our house, I was in! We had a hectic last week before we left, arranging for our bathroom to be remodeled during our absence, packing last minute and planning out different tourist activities as one normally does. Then leaving my phone at my bedside and our dog Rita with our friend
Mikey we eagerly hopped on the plane and never looked back.

We spent our first 4 days in Yelapa, which is just South of Puerto Vallarta. It's a really neat little town that you can only get to by boat and where you need to use flashlights to get around on the cobble stone streets at night (they just got electricity only 5 years ago, so lighting is very limited).  We ate at some really amazing restaurants, soaked up some sunshine and visited the Marietas Islands to see dolphins and manta rays.

After that we traveled North to the surf mecca town of Sayulita. And we fell in love with it.  Sayulita is a hippie paradise with live music, dance and art all around.  The food was outstanding and the vibe was surreal. We had decided to spend our first 5 nights at an Airbnb on the North Shore, where we celebrated our anniversary overlooking the ocean, eating and drinking to our hearts content and simply unwinding & relaxing.

Then we switched it up a bit and moved to the South end of town for our last 5 nights in Sayulita, where we would be in a more rural, jungle area. The Airbnb was a beautiful, clean and private, but after a day or so there we couldn't help but notice the neighbors below us. From our front windows/balcony we could see two dogs in the yard below and one seemed extremely malnourished. That made me really sad, so being the crazy dog lady that I am I bought some bones from the local vet in town and decided to head across the street to give the dogs a treat.

The view into Hermosa's yard from our Airbnb.  You can see her on the right, standing next to the bucket & white lawn chair.

That's when I first saw the dogs up close. The older, bigger dog was a dark brown male who was very fit and strong. As I turned my attention to the younger gray pup, I gasped. One of her eyes looked to be missing and bloody.  She was thin as rails. After I got the dogs' attention and saw wagging tails, I gave the bones a good throw under the fence in opposite directions towards both of the dogs.  Immediately the larger dog leapt on top of the small dog, snarling and growling, putting her in check.  She was terrified and I was heartbroken (and I learned to never hand out food like that ever again).  It was now clear that there was not only negligence occurring on the owner's behalf, but that the other dog was food aggressive and that was most likely the cause of her lost eye and undernourishment.

I felt empty and devastated.  I rushed back to our Airbnb and promptly burst into tears. Jeff comforted me and almost immediately said "so, what do you want to do about it?  Do you want to go back into town right now and see if we can get some help?" The tears stopped.  I honestly hadn't even THOUGHT about what we could do - I was just feeling bad for that poor little pup. Of course, action is way more valuable than just wallowing in your sorrows. "Yes" I said, without hesitation.

Ironically we had just come across a booth in town earlier that day that was an animal rescue called "Sayulita Animals".  We went back to the booth but it was closed for the day.  After a visit to the local vet, who told us they could do nothing to help, and a drive by Sayulita Animals headquarters, which was also closed for the day, we headed home feeling defeated, but determined.  I wrote an email to Sayulita Animals that night and we headed to their office first thing the next day.  Antonio, the volunteer we had met the day before at the booth in town hopped onto our golf cart and up to the house to see the pup. He agreed that it was a situation she shouldn't be in. After returning to the rescue, Sara, the owner of Sayulita Animals, told us that there was little she could do.  Since the puppy had owners and wasn't a street dog, she couldn't really get directly involved with a rescue.  She had a reputation to uphold in the community, which we understood completely.  We left the rescue feeling once again defeated and helpless.

A day or so went by and we had more or less come to terms with the fact that there was little or nothing we could do for this pup. As a consolation we agreed to take 2 other rescue dogs back to Portland on our flight to meet their forever families (Sayulita Animals had already cleaned them up and found them homes - they just needed someone to transport them and carry them through customs). We agreed to do so only on the condition that Sara would continue to do everything within her power to try to help this little puppy.

On our last day in Sayulita we received an email from Sara. She said that she had stopped by the house to see the puppy, as she promised she would, and agreed that it would be best to get her out of there. She suggested that there was probably one way and one way only to rescue her: go up to the family, tell them that we'd fallen in love with their pup and ask them if we could adopt her. We couldn't believe what we were reading!  Just go up to somebody's house and ask them if we could HAVE their dog?  We thought "yeah right, like that's gonna work".  If someone came up to our house and asked if they could have or buy our dog, we'd tell them to fuck off, straight up.  We didn't know these people - what would they think about a couple of gringos going up to them and asking to take their dog back to the states?!

And then we realized that we had no other option.  And we thought of the pup and the mistreatment we'd seen over the past couple of days - her eating garbage in the yard, being scared with a shovel by one of the owners.  And we realized that we were in a completely different culture where dogs are looked at and valued differently, and we thought...you know what?  We've got nothing to lose. We might as well give it a shot. IF we could get Marianne at Street Dog Hero in Bend, Oregon (Sayulita Animals' sister rescue) to agree to be our "back up" adoption option if we brought Hermosa home and Rita (our dog) wasn't getting along with her, and IF we could find a Spanish translator to help us negotiate the rescue, then we would do it. We would give this crazy idea a shot and see if there was a one in a million chance that we could potentially pull it off.

At this time it was about 4pm and we gave Marianne a call and she agreed wholeheartedly to help us in any way. Then we walked downtown to see if Antonio (the volunteer from Sayulita Animals) HAPPENED to still be at the booth site, painting a mural we had seen him working on for the past couple of days.  He was.  We ask him if he would help and be our Spanish translator and he responded immediately with "absolutely".  He agreed to meet us at our rental at 7:30pm that night.

Antonio arrived right on time and after having a beer and hatching a plan, Jeff & Antonio headed down the hill to the big orange gates where the dogs lived.  We had decided that it would be too much to bombard them with 3 people, so I stayed behind.  It was so painful to wait. I couldn't watch.  I kept myself busy by packing and cleaning, as we were leaving Sayulita for Puerto Vallarta the next day. 10 minutes went by - then 15, then 20.  What was going on down there?!  At this point, I decided that things were either going really, really well, or REALLY bad.  I got worried.  I had to look.  I walked across the living room to the panel of windows that faced the street and looked out.  At that very moment I saw Jeff & Antonio walking away from the gated home and it LOOKED like Jeff was holding something.  I immediately rushed to the opposite end of the condo to open the door to watch them come up the stairs.

Low and behold, Jeff had Hermosa held tight in his arms.  I couldn't believe it. As he walked up to the door he reached out his arms to give her to me. I started crying uncontrollably.  She was so scared and nervous and you could see every bone in her sweet little body.  But she was safe. And she was with us.  Apparently after 10 minutes of negotiations and the daughter/owner of Hermosa saying "no" several times, they just handed her over.  Jeff & Antonio had offered to give them money for her and they refused.  They simply said "we know she'll have a better life".

Hermosa hours after her rescue

So thin :(

 We all went back into the condo and celebrated the momentous occasion.  Everyone had HUGE smiles on their faces.  We were all still in shock that she was REALLY there with us. We fed her lots of yummy things that she had never tasted before and snuggled her endlessly. After Antonio left, we nestled her into bed with us. She was really shy and nervous about being inside, as I'm sure she had been strictly forbidden to enter a home before.  She had fleas & ticks all over her and she smelled so horrible that I was honestly gagging all night.  But that didn't matter.  We wanted her to feel secure and loved and for her to know that she would never be in harm's way again.

Fast forward to today: It's been almost three months now since that trip and life changing experience. I am happy to say that we were able to get all three rescue dogs from Sayulita through customs and safely to Portland to meet their "furever families". And after a week of gradual introduction, Rita and Hermosa got along great and are now best friends.  Hermosa is actually HELPING Rita with some of her anxiety, fear and proximity issues. Hermosa has gained over 15 lbs., has been spayed and after a visit to the doggy ophthalmologist has been cleared to keep her bad eye in (no surgery or removal needed - such a relief!). She loves every person and dog she meets and is FEARLESS, enjoying hiking, swimming and exploring the Pacific Northwest. She really completes our family in more ways than we could have imagined and it is a pure joy to watch her grow into the dog that she was always meant to be.

Hermosa's first week in our house.  So tiny!

Her first toys :)

Hermosa, Rita & my husband Jeff - week 1

This rescue wouldn't have been possible without the great help from Sayulita Animals in Mexico and Street Dog Hero in Bend, Oregon.  Both Sara & Marianne are doing incredible things to help animals in need.  Please help these amazing humans continue their good work! Visit their websites, donate to them if you can or become a dog transport if you're flying their way!  It's so easy to do and it really does save lives:

Sayulita Animals: https://sayulitanimals.org/
Street Dog Hero: https://streetdoghero.org/

The biggest lesson we learned from this experience is that there IS a chance.  There's always a chance, no matter how small it might be.  So put your doubts aside and if you think there's even a remote possibility that you could achieve what you're hoping to accomplish, go for it. You could change your situation or someone else's for the better, or better yet, save a life. We are forever grateful for this experience, and for our new family member, Hermosa.

Hermosa & Rita, soaking up the sun in our backyard

Hermosa "koala-ing" her Dad.  She has no space bubble!

Good girls - can we have a treat please?

Hermosa & Rita (and me) enjoying the sand and water at Sauvie Island, just a few weeks ago

Hermosa & Rita today - snuggled up, best friends :)

Nicknack's Travel Hacks

Hey friends!

Yeah, I know, it's been a long time since my last blog post.  That seems to be the norm these days, so instead of going on and on and apologizing, I'm just going to be open and honest with you that you should expect nothing less than sporadic, unpredictable posting...until I'm retired.  Or win the lottery.

We're coming up on our one year wedding anniversary (read my last post - we got hitched in Thailand last year!) and decided we needed to go somewhere fun to celebrate. I'm not gonna lie - everything in my being was pulling me back to Thailand.  THAT trip is going to be hard to beat.  However, we decided to go an easier route this year and head to a country I really haven't explored much yet: Mexico.  I know, hard to believe isn't it?  Most U.S. folks have traveled to Mexico more times than they can count, but for some reason I decided to explore the craziest, farther reaches of our planet first and have saved Mexico for my older, lazier years.  I think I made a good call, since the flight to Puerto Vallarta is a flat 4 hours direct! Piece of cake.

We leave in two weeks and so this is the moment in trip planning where I start to make a checklist for packing in my head:

1. Don't forget the snorkel
2. Do I still have any sunscreen leftover in the house from last summer, the last time this Oregonian saw the sun?

3. Where did my sunglasses go?

 And throughout my travel experiences - especially going to remote places where you can lug around very little - I've figured out some small little travel hacks that are currently rolling around in my brain space that I think could help others.  So, whether your next trip is to Palm Springs or the Pyramids of Giza, here are a few helpful packing tips to guide you along the way:

1. PACK THINGS YOU WANT TO LEAVE BEHIND: That's right - I intentionally pack items with me that I think are on the last leg of their life or that I don't want anymore. This one helps you in two ways: 1. It helps you clean out your closet and get rid of things you've been holding onto for FAR too long and 2. It makes more room in your bag on the way home for any nicknacks you may have accumulated during your travels. Also, if you're traveling to a developing country, some things that are no longer of use to you may be very valuable to someone there and they may appreciate you leaving it as a gift.  (For example, during my time in Africa I gave an old camera I had to a family I had come to know and respect.  They were FASCINATED by it.  It's something I don't think they ever would have been able to afford on their own and they really appreciated the gesture.)

2. BUY YOUR SHAMPOO & CONDITIONER THERE. Those containers are heavy.  And unless you're staying in hotels the whole time or only staying for 5 days, you're going to need a lot to get you through your trip.  Buying your shampoo, conditioner...maybe even face wash & soap THERE not only helps your luggage weight, but it often ends up saving you money too. These items are often less expensive abroad. This also goes for pharmaceuticals. For instance, when I knew I was going to Tanzania and it was recommended I take Methloquin (an anti-malarial) I bought it in India on my way to Tanzania because the price was SO much cheaper than what I could buy it for in the U.S. Just do your research before you hatch this plan - you don't want to end up in a country without necessary medication, assuming they'll have it when they sometimes don't.

3. PACK AN EXTRA BAG. We have a coiled up, frisbee like looking bag that we throw in the bottom of one of our main bags. That way if we accumulate too much stuff during our travels we have an extra bag we can use and check.  This came in REALLY handy when we got married in Thailand.  After our wedding day was done and gone I simply threw my dress in our extra bag instead of lugging it around with me on a hanger. If you're attending a formal event abroad, this may come in extra handy for you too...

4. BRING A REUSABLE WATER BOTTLE. This is especially helpful if you're traveling to a country where you cannot drink the tap water.  You can refill your bottle at restaurants or hostels and it will save you at ton of money on bottled water.  Also helpful to have on hikes.

5. SNACK-IT-UP.  I always like to pack too much food, as opposed to not enough.  That's kind of a general rule in my every day life, but it applies to traveling abroad just as much or more.  Sometimes unpredictable things pop up...like....your hosts don't get you lunch until 5 hours later than they had told you they would.  OR what someone's serving for dinner one night (or what's available) is NOT something you want to eat, but you feel rude so you try a little. All of these circumstances are good reasons to bring snacks with you.  You can also share your country's snacks with locals, which is a kick in the pants if they've never seen a hazelnut or tried a fruit roll up before. Once all of your snacks are consumed you once again have extra space in your bag you weren't planning on for your trip home.  Win-win.

6. WEAR YOUR HEAVY STUFF ON THE PLANE.  OK, these guys may have taken it a little TOO far, but overweight luggage fees are a drag. If you're flying to or from somewhere cold, wear your heavy stuff to avoid extra charges. Bring your down jacket on the plane with you (it can double as your pillow) and wear your hiking shoes. If you're worried about being too warm when you arrive at your destination, throw some flip flops and a t-shirt in your carry-on JUST in case.

7. MAKE A CHECKLIST & MAKE ADJUSTMENTS WHEN YOU RETURN HOME. Did you pack 6 sweatshirts but only used 2?  Could have used a few extra pairs of underwear? Having a checklist specifically made for YOU is super beneficial, especially if you edit it when you return from your trip.  If you analyze what you used and what you could have used more of, you will have more successful trip planning for your next adventure. There are some great lists online to help you get started. Check out this cool website/small "quiz" that helps you figure out what to pack (and even what to prepare before you leave) after you answer a few quick questions about location, duration, weather, etc.: https://www.travelschecklist.com/

Getting ready for a trip and packing in and of itself can be stressful.  The biggest thing to remember throughout it all is that unless you're going to a completely remote, far reaching corner of the world, you'll most likely be able to find whatever you forgot (if you forget anything) at a convenience store nearby.  And that even if you can't find that ONE thing you forgot, you will survive.  Another traveler probably packed an extra one themselves or you can simply do without.  That's one of the great things about traveling - learning things about yourself, and learning that we really can manage to live with a lot less than we think we can.  It also makes you super grateful for what you have at home.

Bon Voyage!

How to Legally "Thai the Knot" - Americans Married in Thailand

On December 28th, 2016, my boyfriend & I hiked Cascade Head on a bluebird day in Lincoln City, Oregon. Unbeknownst to me, (although I had some suspicions), my man proposed to me that day on the top of a bluff, next to a small sapling and I said YES!  What a beautiful day and exciting time. We felt on top of the world (and actually, kind of literally were) and were elated to share the news with our friends & family.

 

Now anyone who's ever been engaged before knows what comes next: Yes, the celebrations, but also the questions, the suggestions, the unsolicited advice: "So, when's the date?" "Where are you going to get married?" "You know you're going to have to invite your Aunt Margret, right?" "Well...just make sure you don't get married TOO soon." It was overwhelming before we even got started.  People have so many expectations when it comes to weddings, and since I work in the wedding business, I had a pretty good idea of what all was involved.

So we spent a lot of time discussing options with one another, going back and forth with different scenarios. We wanted to skip a lot of aspects about weddings that we didn't like.  For example, we didn't want to invite a whole bunch of people to our very special day who just really didn't care too much about us or we didn't really know (no people Facebooking or taking selfies during our ceremony). We didn't want the day to be stressful.  Instead, we wanted to be entirely focused on the two of us and our love, our moment, instead of worrying why the caterer hadn't shown up or why there were too few chairs.  We didn't want to have to pick "favorites" for our bridal party, which creates hurt feelings and awkwardness.  We didn't want gifts (another weird and outdated tradition that neither of us ever really liked). And above all, we wanted the moment when we exchanged our vows to be private and intimate, a very sacred time for us to cherish instead of us worrying about everyone staring at us and what "they" thought of what we had written.  

So, for all those reasons (and because we love to adventure and wanted to get married somewhere tropical and warm!), we decided to get married in Thailand.  We already had a vacation planned to Thailand for March 2017, so the only thing we needed to do was secure a wedding planner and figure out how to get legally married in Thailand in less than 3 months.  No big deal, right? (There goes the 'no stress' idea...ha!) In all honesty, we toyed with the idea of getting legally married at the courthouse at home before our trip. Low cost, no stress.  And as we continued to do research, we found out that most people who have wedding ceremonies abroad choose that option, because it is simpler and easier.  However, it didn't feel genuine to us.  We didn't want to get legally married at the courthouse in Oregon and then have a fancy "for show" elopement in Thailand. So, we started doing the research on what all is involved for an American to get married in Thailand.  And it was HARD to figure it out, simply because there is a lot of contradicting information out there. So, that is the main reason I'm writing this blog post today.  I'm writing it for that person out there who may want to elope and get married in Thailand but has no clue what the legal process entails.  So if you're an American who wants to "Thai" the knot, this one's for you!!!

First, I would highly encourage you to hire a legal rep.  We hired Jit, and she did a fabulous job.  You can reach her at inquires@legallymarriedinthailand.com or visit her website, which is very informative (www.legallymarriedinthailand.com).  We paid 9,000 bht for her services (which is approx. $258 USD), but several people we contacted before Jit was recommended to us were charging DOUBLE that.  All other people we contacted, in fact.  So if you hire Jit, she will not only be the most affordable choice, she will also walk you through everything you need to do to successfully get married in Thailand.  Here's the basic run-down:

Before you leave:

-Each individual needs to fill out a marriage affidavit.  This is something you will need to bring with you to the US Embassy in Bangkok to make your marriage legal. Jit provided us with the form we needed, but you can get one from your respective embassy or online (just make sure it's the real deal!)

-Make an appointment with the US Embassy in Bangkok.  The Embassy is super busy, so having an appointment ensures that you are prioritized.  You need an appointment for EACH of you, not one for both of you.  There are random days and holidays when their offices are closed too, so be sure to check into that. Here's the website where you can make your appointment: https://th.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/acsappointment/

-Make copies of both of your passports to give to the legal rep when you arrive in Thailand (or before).

-Pay a 50% deposit to Jit via PayPal

When you arrive in Thailand:

-Make copies of your entry Visa in your passport to bring with you and give to your legal rep when you visit the Embassy.

-Visit the Embassy with your passport, copies of your passport, copies of your visa entry and marriage affidavits (Jit's assistant brought our affidavits with him, which was nice cause that was one less thing we had to remember).  Once your paperwork is complete, you will give it all to your legal rep, who will be waiting outside the embassy with you.  Pay them the remainder of their fee (either in baht or USD)

Finishing up paperwork at the Embassy with our legal rep in Bangkok, Day 1 in Thailand

IF you hire a legal rep (or at least the one we did), the remainder of the process is seamless for you.  After we visited the Embassy, our work was done and we were able to enjoy the rest of our vacation.  Our paperwork's journey, however, had just begun.  All of our paperwork had to be translated into Thai. Then, 4 days after that, our legal rep had to return to the Legalization division to retrieve our completed and translated paperwork.  They then sent our paperwork from Bangkok to our wedding coordinator Caz on the tiny island of Koh Tao, where we got married. From there, Caz took our paperwork to the local government office and made an appointment for our wedding day with the "Amphoe", who is the government official responsible for the the second level administrative subdivision of Thailand. The Amphoe had his own desk at our wedding ceremony (and security with him), and we had to sit with him and sign paperwork with him before they could legally pronounce us "husband and wife".  It was a trip! And we had some really funny, memorable interactions in broken English, which are always enjoyable when traveling abroad :)

 

Jit's website has instructions all about how to "Do It Yourself", which are here if you choose to do so: http://www.legallymarriedinthailand.com/information/do-it-yourself.html . I, however, highly recommend doing it the way we did it and hiring professionals who know what they're doing to help you.  It's your wedding day.  You don't want to screw it up by missing a step or not being able to actually get legally married because you forgot something.  Plus, you want to enjoy your vacation instead of worrying about paperwork, right?

At the end of all that business, here's what you get: A beautiful marriage certificate in Thai and the experience and story of a foreign wedding process.  And if you're really lucky, you also get a drop dead gorgeous, perfect wedding day of your dreams like we did.  We haven't regretted for an instant any the choices we made and we would highly recommend eloping to anyone desiring a personal, private wedding. And going through the legal process abroad, whatever that might be and wherever you decided to get married, helps you experience the culture and interact with locals in a way that you otherwise might not have.

Gratitude

Our marriage certificate...in Thai!  We can't read it, but we're pretty sure it's legit....lol

We did it!

Our wonderful wedding crew, all of which I would highly recommend.  From left to right: Rachel (wedding officiant), Aiden (photographer: www.aidendockery.com), & Caz (www.foreverlovestruck.com)

During the ceremony

Just married!

You may kiss the bride :)

So in love. Our wedding site: Sai Nuan Beach, Koh Tao

Mr & Mrs!

Our private longtail boat ride from our ceremony to Sairee beach

Sunset before dinner. Pure magic

A second chance at life: The three month transformation of Rita Ballou

On Sunday, April 10th, my boyfriend Jeff & I set out to look for a puppy.  We had discussed getting a puppy for quite some time, but we had yet to visit any shelters.  We knew we wanted a rescue dog (with so many dogs already out there that need homes, how can anyone buy from a breeder?) We briefly stopped by the Oregon Humane Society, but were underwhelmed with the selection of pets available and overwhelmed by the crowds, so we drove across town to the Oregon Dog Rescue.

We waited by the door for the volunteer to re-open the center, and were quickly ushered in with several other people. We told them that we were there to adopt a puppy.  The lady quickly scanned her list, and told us that they currently didn't have any puppies IN house, but if we came back in a couple of weeks they would have several puppies available.  In the meantime, she said, we were welcome to browse the photos of the pets listed on their wall to see if we wanted to meet any of them.

Our eyes scrolled over the 50+ photos of pets waiting to be adopted, and we noticed a cute little black dog on the roster named Jewel.  She was only 5 months old (which was certainly puppy enough for us).  We decided to give it a shot and asked to view her.  They put us in a meeting room area and asked us to wait while they retrieved her.

When they brought her in, it certainly wasn't love at first sight.  She was anxious, running and pawing all over the place.  She was hardly interest in us at all.  She was obsessed with any other dog or cat that passed by our room and would bark incessantly.  She refused to play with us.  However, she was sweet.  There was something there.  And she was as cute as a puppy could be.  After a few minutes of letting her wander around, we tried engaging with her more.  It was around that time that I decided to go for it - I swooped her up and cradled her in my arms, like a baby.  Most dogs HATE that.  But she just laid there - passively - letting me hold her, not moving a muscle.  She seemed so content. And in that moment, I felt like there was something more to this dog and that we needed to get to know her more.

The Oregon Dog Rescue had only had her for two days, but they informed us that she was leash aggressive.  Apparently, the day before they had brought her to PetSmart to meet people and potentially be adopted, but her leash aggression had been turning people away.  I instantly thought that this was a result of her environment and history.  Before coming to Oregon, she was found as a stray in Lancaster County, in Los Angeles, at 4 months of age.  She spent one month at a high kill shelter in California, and was then transferred up to Portland by a non-profit that rescues dogs from California (apparently 87% of shelter dogs are EUTHANIZED in California, compared to the 92% that are adopted in Oregon...a staggering statistic I discovered during our visit). It's unrealistic to expect that she didn't already experience some major trauma in her life...

So, seeing some bright moments during our visit, and wanting to see her out of the shelter environment, we asked if we could take her on a quick walk outside.  I turned in my car keys in exchange for a leash, and we exited the building.  We passed other dogs on our walk - other dogs that were going CRAZY and pulling on their leashes, but our pup remained calm and kept walking.  We walked by a field with some geese, and she just sat down and calmly watched them interact.  She was the most mellow puppy I had ever been around - and Jeff too.

We spent a lot of time with her outside.  Time holding her.  Time walking her. Time trying to get her to do tricks.  And then, the debate came.  Should we get her?  Would she be a good dog?  She was the FIRST dog we'd met - AT ALL. Was it a good idea to adopt the first dog you meet?  Were we REALLY ready for a dog after all?!

When it came down to it, the question that sealed the deal was this: If we walked away, and then decided we wanted to return to adopt her, and she was already adopted...would we be sad?  And we both answered with a resounding YES.  And, that was it.  We took the plunge, signed the papers, made a brief stop at PetSmart and were on our way home with a new family member....who we re-named, Rita.

We are now three months post-adoption and we both feel like Rita is one of the best things that has ever happened to us.  When we first adopted her, she was not leash aggressive, but rather terrified of most dogs.  When a dog would approach, she would cower, lower her head and put her tail between her legs. She now, most of the time, walks confidently and approaches and plays with other dogs.  Rita can now swim, sit, lay, shake, high five, give kisses and roll over. She loves hiking. She has a best friend next door named Wilson (a five year old Australian Shepard) that she plays with daily. She used to be afraid to leave the house - dreading where her next destination would be and if we were going to return her to another shelter.  She now happily jumps into the back of our cars, eager for her next adventure.  And the biggest change of all?  Her affection.  A once shy, cautious, uncertain dog who had been hurt and abandoned realized after about a month of care that we weren't going anywhere...and she opened her heart to us fully.  She is the most cuddly, playful, endearing dog that either of us have ever owned...and we can't imagine our lives without her.

Why am I telling you this story?  Because Rita really taught me several lessons in the past three months that I feel are important to share.  She taught me to be patient...that growth takes time.  She taught me to be observant of my surroundings, and who I surround myself with.  But most of all, she taught me to forgive and that anyone can learn to love again.  Her broken soul took time to trust again, but once she did, it was nothing but gold.  We are so lucky that you found us, Rita Ballou....

If you live in Portland and are interested in adopting a dog, please check out the Oregon Dog Rescue's website: www.oregondogrescue.org

And now, a few pics of our sweet girl <3

Jeff with Rita on the day we adopted her

Her first week at our house, getting used to the backyard

Happy at the dog park

Rita's first trip to the beach

Bend & stretch!

Sunday rambles

Rita & her buddy Wilson, taking a break from playing on our front porch

Learning to swim & fetch! On the Deschutes

Soaking up the sun in Eastern Oregon

4th of July fun!

Family cuddles in our tent (aaaannndddd...this might have been how we slept too....for 5 nights....)

Rita sleeping on me, her mom

Rita & her Dad, her first excursion on the boat

Happy New You!

Happy New Year Family & Friends!  2016 is here...and its going to be here for a while...so you better get used to it :)  Hopefully you're feeling as optimistic about all that the New Year could possibly offer as I am.

So...what is it about a new year that gets everybody so excited?  It's certainly not the painful task of needing to remember to change the date on every check or paper you write, and I'm convinced it doesn't circulate around the looming, approaching tax season.  So what is it? From what I can tell, the appeal of a new year to most people is the idea of a fresh start.  The chance to put the past behind you and become a NEW you. Maybe a better version of you?  Maybe become the YOU you've always wanted to be....

I make resolutions every year, just like a lot of us do.  Usually not many.  Like, every year for as many years as I can remember, I've vowed to floss more (I'm really bad at it and don't do it as often as I should). I usually start out strong during the first part of the year, doing it every day (sometimes even twice a day), and then the flossing starts to dwindle as the months roll on. And then there's the traditional "eat healthier/exercise more" goal that I think most people on the resolution bandwagon adhere to.  That's certainly on the list this year again too, but again, past years have shown that as the year progresses, my goals and resolutions slowly fade out of sight. And that's discouraging and disappointing. And, after asking around, I've learned that I'm not the only one that this happens to.  So, that made me think: WHY do we even make resolutions and WHY do we continue to do it year after year if we know that we're just going to fail and give up after a while?

I was pondering this question the other night in bed while reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin, and I came across a passage that really stuck with me that she quoted from the book "Happiness" by William Butler Yeats: "is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing". And Rubin concluded that "contemporary researchers make the same argument: that it isn't goal attainment, but the process of striving after goals - that is, growth - that brings happiness".

And that really struck a chord with me. I absolutely believe that GROWTH is an essential key to greater happiness.  It made me think back on moments in my life when I was happiest, and all of them have contained substantial growth. For example, many of my happiest moments have been while I have been traveling, which is certainly a time when you go through lots of growth and change.  You are learning SO much when you are traveling: possibly another language, how to live in a new environment, co-exist in a new culture, how to cook and eat new foods you've never seen before, possibly co-exist in tight quarters with other travelers and you are learning many new things about who you are as a person, too.  I've also thought back on my career and the various jobs I've had, and I've certainly been happiest in the ones where I've been challenged the most, and have had the most opportunity to advance myself both personally and professionally.

So after having that revelation, I decided that New Years resolutions aren't such a bad thing after all, and have made a few 2016 New Years resolutions for myself.  Not with the intention of giving up...I KNOW that that is never the intention when setting a goal, but also knowing that I don't have to necessarily finish or reach any finish line with my goals. My overall goal is to GROW.  If I don't floss every day for the rest of this year...so what?  At least I will be flossing MORE than I was last year, and that's a great start.  So, without further adieu, here are my growth & happiness goals for 2016:

-Exercise more: I want to immerse myself in Yoga, which gives me balance, introspection and inner peace, and pushes me to become more flexible, stronger, and all around more grounded and fit.
-Drink less booze: I don't want to drink out of boredom or "just because", but drink only on certain occasions or when I want to celebrate.  I'll use my downtime now instead to work towards new career goals or to work on current or new crafts or music (specifically the piano and ukulele)
-Drink more water:  I never drink enough. Always a challenge :)
-Get outside more: I am happier and more inspired when I spend more time outside in nature, away from my digital devices.  Take even more time this year to unplug.
-Read more: Always a struggle for me.  Go to bed an hour early a couple times a week, and take the time to read.
-Volunteer more/help others: I re-joined Rotary in October 2015, and am now a member of the East Portland Rotary club.  My goal through Rotary is to become more involved and connected to my community and volunteer more of my time to people who need it.
-Kindness & compassion first: Try to understand where other people are coming from and THEIR story before you make assumptions, come to conclusions and react to them.
-Listen better: I hate to admit it, but sometime with all of the ideas and "to dos" rushing through my head throughout the day, I forget to really focus in and pay attention to what people are saying.  Not all the time, but sometimes.  Make an effort to close off my own thoughts and focus attention on others while they're talking and sharing their story. It's an important one.
-Last but not least, start each day with an open heart: Put the day before behind you, and start fresh.

Doesn't sound too hard, right?....wish me luck!  And whether you have a blog or a piece of paper, I encourage YOU to write down a few GROWTH goals for yourself. They don't have to be New Years goals....but rather life goals. What are some things you want for yourself? What makes YOU happiest, and what would you like to do more of this year?

Happy Birthday, Mom

Today is Thanksgiving. A day to reflect on what we're grateful for and what truly means the most to us in this life.  A day to put aside differences, take a good look at our lives and say "damn, I'm blessed". And every few years, Thanksgiving happens to coincide with my mom's birthday on November 26th.  She used to hate it when that happened.  I remember hearing her in the kitchen like it was yesterday: "Today's my birthday and I'm stuck in the kitchen ALL day making food, cleaning...ugh!".  But, deep down, I secretly knew that she didn't mind it one bit.  My mom loved us - her family - so very much, and loved doing things for other people.  She LIVED for helping others.  So to spend her birthday surrounded by the people she loved, making food with and for the people who meant the most to her?  Well, I think she wouldn't have wanted to spend her birthday any other way...

And that's why the holidays are so hard for me now. Ever since her passing 9 years ago, they've never felt quite the same.  My mom WAS the holidays.  Her cheery disposition, her warm hugs and smiles, the way she decorated the tree and filled the house with love.  Until she was gone, I never realized or appreciated the fact that she truly was the energy and the sparkle behind the magic of the holidays.

So over the years, the celebrations have evolved.  The first few years after she died, I think my dad and I just had Thanksgiving on our own.  That was hard.  During those times it really sunk in that she was gone.  Then we spent a few years going up to Seattle and spending Thanksgiving with my mom's side of the family, like we had done many years in the past when she was around.  But the commute was long and there was also a feeling of absence - someone missing -from those Thanksgivings, too.

In recent years, Thanksgivings have greatly varied.  If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll remember my Thanksgiving in Tanzania, 3 years ago.  That year I had to learn to create a new network of family for the holiday. That gave me a good reminder of what I had to be thankful for back home.  And for the past couple of years, my dad and I have spent Thanksgiving up in Portland with our neighbors from home (Newport) that I grew up with.  We've started creating NEW traditions and embracing our extended network of family: our friends, our neighbors, our loved ones.

This year, we're heading back to the coast, to Lincoln City, to spend Thanksgiving with my boyfriend Jeff's family.  Lincoln City is just a short drive up the road from where my dad still lives and I grew up, and it will be my first time spending Thanksgiving on the coast in years.  It will be a small gathering: my dad, his mom & step-dad, and the two of us.  Intimate and peaceful.  Familiar, but new.  This will be the first time our families will have gathered together for the holidays.  And for Christmas, Jeff & I will host everyone in our home up in Portland.  We are now starting new holiday traditions in our own home, and that is refreshing and exciting for me.  After 9 years, I am finally starting to feel like the holidays are something to look forward to again....

 And while we are moving forward and creating new Thanksgiving traditions with family and friends, new and old, my mom is with me today maybe more than any other day of the year.  Her spirit of giving, her thoughtful ways and her warmth and love are so fondly remembered and sorely missed.  And I couldn't be more grateful for having had such a caring, loving mother.

So squeeze your loved ones extra tight today and keep gratitude in your heart for their presence at your Thanksgiving feast...even if they annoy the heck outta ya ;)

She would have been 65 today.  Happy Birthday Mom.  I love you and miss you every day.