Taking a Leap of Faith

A few months ago, during my time of confusion and turmoil, one of my best friends Kerry recommended I read a book, called "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho.  When she did so, she knew exactly what she was doing.  She knew not only how great the book was and how much she loved it, but she knew me so well that she knew I would grab hold and run with it, which is exactly what happened.  For any of you out there who haven't read it, I recommend you do.

If you haven't read The Alchemist, in a nutshell, it is about following your dreams and listening to your heart.  Sounds easy, right?  Just listen to that voice deep inside and make life happen for yourself.  Well, as we all know, its not that easy.  I looked up from the book and looked around myself at all my stability and comfort and said "Nikki, you're crazy.  Why would you give up all this?  You live in a cute little studio downtown, supplied with everything you need. You have your dream job as a dance teacher.  You are surrounded by so many amazing people who love and support you.  And finally after years and years of searching and applying for jobs, broke into a successful and solid job in the international arena."

But you know what?  I wasn't happy.  And I realize that happiness is something that you create for yourself, but I was having a hard time doing so in my current surroundings.  And at the end of the day when I mulled over the decision of whether or not to leave Eugene for this job position in Tanzania, the same question came into my head over and over again: "In 20 years, when you look back on your life, will you regret it if you DON'T try to do it?"  And the answer 10 times out of 10, was yes.

 So I lept.  And for those of you who spent time with me this summer, you know that I love doing that.  I found myself time after time this summer, more than ever, being drawn to rivers and lakes where I would have the opportunity to climb a really big cliff and leap off the edge.  Exhilarating.  I learned a lot about myself through doing this.  I could jump off of almost any cliff or log anywhere, but I wanted to see at least one person do it first.  If they made it, I knew I could do it too.  And they inspired me not to be afraid of what lie below.  But you know what?  Most of them had seen someone do it before they jumped too.  And so the cycle continued.  Occasionally towards the end of the summer, I got to be the one watching someone teeter on the edge of the cliff, unsure of what lied below, and I got to say "you know what?  Watch this.  It's nothing to be afraid of.  I'll go first.  You can do it too".

Standing at the edge looking over is way scarier than actually doing the part you climbed up the cliff to do in the first place - JUMP!  When you soar off the edge you feel weightless and free, and you just have to hope that your landing at the bottom will be graceful enough to make it a peaceful transition back to reality.  At the bottom, you need to be caught by something that can support you and make you feel like everything's ok, and that you made the right decision in jumping.

As Paulo Coelho says,"when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it".  That is exactly what I have been experiencing over the past month.  A huge leap of faith off a cliff and an unrealistically comfortable landing at the bottom.  In the matter of weeks, I went from having several solid jobs and secured housing in a very structured, time sensitive lifestyle to buying plane tickets to places I've never been, with many unknowns and plans to stay there for undetermined amounts of time.  But against all common sense, EVERYTHING supported this move.  I've been offered more job opportunities for when (or if) I return than I have been in years.  I had a decision to hold my visa for India in limbo over paperwork reversed overnight for no apparent reason.  After weeks of searching for someone to "borrow" my couch for a year plus to no avail, I had someone arrive at my studio hours before my departure to do just that.  And...after taking a job in another country on a volunteer basis, I have had donors step forward to assist in my transition and have very hopeful grants hanging in limbo that would secure a salary for me.

So...I guess that I wanted to get two things out of this blog post:  The first one, is just to say WOW.  What a trip.  I am so happy that I jumped, and I encourage other to do so too.  The unknown and uncertain is scary, but as Kerry would say "I think the only thing scarier than following your dreams is not following them".  I have to agree. 

And secondly, I'm here to say THANKS.  There are no words or actions that can do justice to the outpouring of support and kindness I have experienced from all of my friends and family over the past month.  I am so truly blessed, and I appreciate all of you more than you may ever know.  Each of you, whether you wrote a recommendation for my job position (thanks Lisa & Andy), or simply helped provide words of wisdom and support during a difficult time of transition (thanks Doug), have contributed to my success and have helped to make me feel so comforted and strong during this time of change.  Spending quality time with all of you over the past few weeks has once again reminded me of how amazing my people network really is, and how inspired I am by each and every one of you.  If you're reading this right now...yes you...I'm talking to you.  Thanks for inspiring me and giving me a little nudge off the cliff.  I hope I can pay it forward, and someday inspire someone else to do the same.